“It looks like it’s going to rain”. “Every day it gets dark earlier.” calls elevator conversations They are the usual sources at meetings of more or less familiar people. It is also a routine that should be changed from time to time among those who want to improve their mental health. Actually, learn to speak well It is a fundamental step for a better quality of life, especially on the mental plane. neuroscientist Mariano Sigman.
“We are not aware of it in life, but it is full of habits from the moment you wake up in the morning. You talk to the same people, eat at the same place, return to the same house. The way we talk to people is also a habit.“, poses. It is the basis of the researcher trying to explain that conversations are the key to changing the brain and mental health. Good ideas arise from conversations, thoughts are clarified, or decision making is improved. In short, they have the power to change the trajectory of life. However, good conversation is not easy or usual.
Suggestions for improving a conversation
For the expert, communication is a way to relearn how to speak. How is it done? The first problem arises when conversations become monotonous and prevent progress without people noticing. “There are people who are used to talking about the weather and football, which are easy things to talk about.. Other people talk about the business, but they always give advice, because that’s where it’s built and there are people who want advice,” says Mariano Sigman, executive director of the Human Brain Project.
Attitude is essential to change this route to nowhere. It seems obvious, but it’s helpful to think about what you want to say before you speak. “The problem with many conversations is that the person doesn’t think about what they’re talking about.. One takes it to win, to show the other that I’m right, or to pay for my insurance if another car grazes you. But we can see ourselves as a way of solving a problem, of learning, and the trend will be better for both parties. Sometimes we don’t think about why we do things,” he insists with experience.
Another common hurdle is predicting the future with self-fulfilling prophecies. “In any case, we have strong inclinations about how the conversation will go,” he says. PhD in Neuroscience from New York University. The best example of this, according to Mariano Sigman, is in the case of drivers who have had a mishap and ‘know’ to discuss before they land. If they had been more understanding from their point of view or had met the encounter in a friendly manner, the result would have been very different from the usual.
Best advice for a better conversation? “Clearly change this trend and start talking in a completely different way than we always talk about. For example, I’ll talk about the things or things I know least about, not about the things I know most. The thing I’m most proud of. I will try to learn or discover something. This can be done in any conversation, in the family, at work or on the street.“, to remember.
Are you okay? Measure your words to check
Communications and neuroscience researcher claims that every person says more about themselves than they think. And feelings They’re also key to both delivering messages and finding out if someone is okay. According to the experience of the doctor from New York Rockefeller University (United States), it is a matter of taking care of oneself. ‘The Power of Words’ (Discussion) book with lots of advice and advice.
He uses a parallel with physical activity for his check-up: “Sport is one of the things we’ve discovered in today’s society that it’s much easier to change than we thought. And it’s more tangible because we see the changes as we see them. You run 1, 2 or 3 and one day you run faster or farther with more steps It’s similar in your emotional life. you are more sedentary too You can measure your emotional health, for example, by counting the words you say, whether you’re sad, happy, or demeanor”, explain. “You can make a map of where your mind walks, runs, or travels. It’s more ethereal than physical change, but they’re actually the same,” says Mariano Sigman.
The description of the Argentine researcher is very clear: change traditions. “If you can change the habit of taking the bus to work into a walk, you can say, ‘I can get up every day and think of all the things that I don’t do, miss, do or not do. Do the things that are good for me.” You can choose to change it or you can watch the world and enjoy the light and nature. Just like you change transportation. This change will soon give you a different mental life than you used to love anything else. Not immediately, but like any new habit,” advises the expert.
It’s a good step to change your mind
One of the factors that Mariano Sigman brought to light is this: changing your mind is good for your head too. And it’s not always easy to understand. “After all, we’ve formed many beliefs about everything, whether it’s about sports, politics, or about ourselves: What works, what’s good or bad, what we can and can’t do,” admits the communications expert.
“These are going with us and there is little praise for doubt and change of mind at the moment. On the contrary, persistence or not changing the mind is worthwhile as if it will work. It’s a virtue to rethink things, to be able to change your mind, to realize that what you’re thinking isn’t necessarily true.”he discusses.
Mariano Sigman has addressed artists and athletes, people who work in artistic creation and should be more inclined to observe from a different perspective. However, they also had to change their habits. “I’ve worked with athletes and One exercise I should do is to talk as different members usually don’t.. In the game ‘you didn’t pass me’ etc. many complaints are made. But the game we play with the sports teams, the matches, and the forward asking the best defender of the game how he sees things, how he sees things, how he sees it from his own place, what else would he say,” he explains.
The secret of attitude change is that there is no protective bias against criticism or the threat of complaint. The result is gentler and more enriching because no defensive reactions and new conversations appear. “You’re not concerned with your worth in the team, but he’s learning,” explains the neuroscientist.
Loneliness interferes with mental health
However, there is one obstacle that is difficult to overcome. More and more people live individually, and the social networks of the community have weakened. Many scientific studies have already pointed out that people who live alone have a shorter life expectancy and lower quality due to the lack of social relationships. Science has revealed that isolation is one of the worst habits for the brain..
For Mariano Sigman, there is a close relationship with mental health because it takes someone else to face a different perspective. “If you don’t have the opportunity to speak, ideas stagnate. Ideas change and refresh when you need to change them,” says the researcher.
That is, sometimes poorly developed thoughts are taken as immutable principles that, when disclosed, show their weaknesses and contradictions, which will never be questioned except in a conversation. one disappeared good tool to identify errors and make better decisions.
“The problem is that we have polymorphous habits about how we live and experience life, and it’s hard to get out of that place of our own volition because they become habits. Sometimes having an interlocutor helps you question. understand some of these, and we realize that in some ideas there are steps that we anticipate and that, let’s say, it’s bewildering and maybe things aren’t quite the way we thought for a very long time,” he explains.
Finally, Mariano Sigman approaches the issues of Latino relationships. bred Argentinalived a few years Spain, the United States and France, so her experience joins her role as a researcher to find out who communicates worse. The answer begins with a psychological question. “There’s idiosyncrasy, but there’s also provincialism because each thinks things only happen to one of them and that it’s in their own time. Argentines think they are only in Argentina, while Spaniards think they are in Spain. In Spain the taxi driver complains about the traffic and I think of the one in Buenos Aires and Sao Paulo and it seems to me like one of the most regular taxis in the universe. “Each one experiences reality as if it were specifically different in the universe.”
Then the bad news comes. “Speech crisis is not a Latino thing. In the United States, as in France or Italy, they are in a terrible crisis. There are African countries where massacres are experienced due to differences of opinion. It is a more general problem. idiosyncratic and goes beyond the ages”, to warn. In turn, he offers one final piece of advice on a good choice for improving public speaking style. “Better societies are formed when and where people have better conversations, and this is vital fuel for social functioning,” he says.
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